Please Blue Fairy Make Me A Real Girl

One of the major ways I have been affected by my husbands affair is that I am uber sensitive to situations where infidelity and temptation are apparent. After I found out about the affair I asked my husband if I could talk to Lola. I wanted to do this because I was angry at here. VERY angry. Thoughts would pop in my mind of running into her and calling her every bad name that fit her in the book. I wanted to rip into her like I have never ripped in to someone before and I did not like this feeling. I felt the only way I could get peace about it was to talk to her. So after talking to my husband and assuring him that I was not going to yell, scream or swear at her he agreed that I could. (the conversation with her is a whole different blog). In this conversations Lola said to me (in a sad voice not a proud one) "It was easy because I did not view you as a person." Ouch!!! These words hit me every time I hear of people being tempted, people tempting and infidelity situations. And I want to cry for who ever it is.

My pain is so real that I wish that no one else in the world has to go through what I am going through. Granted my marriage is on the path to recovery, I still would not wish this heart ache on anyone in the world. Not even Lola. This weekend I was with a group of friends and one of the young women in the group was telling a story about how someone asked her to wear less revealing clothes in a particular group setting. She was very upset and said "I've got great boobs and I deserve to flaunt them." This statement makes me so sad. Why would we want to set up others to be tempted and maybe even hurt others in the process. Now I am not saying she needs to wear turtle necks and potato sacks, but to have that attitude and wake up in the morning saying I am going to show off my boobs because I deserve to makes me sad. It makes me think of how we don't see others as human beings, as people who sin, as people who work hard to succeed in or relationships with others and God and people who feel the same things we do and are tempted just like us. I too am guilty of this at times, but I pray that my eyes are open to this and I can serve others not tempt others. I want to help others to live for today.